I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize