This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
