If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize