I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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