OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
