It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
