Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Be still, my beating vagina.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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