So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
