Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
