Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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