Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
