Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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