barbara walters just said penis...
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
