Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
