My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
