Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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