Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
