Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
