Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
