If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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