I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
