Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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