Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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