Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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