I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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