as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize