Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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