I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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