this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Randomize
