Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize