Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize