You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
