Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I looked at my own cervix.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
zippers are such a cool invention
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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