do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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