I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
