So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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