I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
