4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
