Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I think my moral compass just broke
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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