i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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