OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
