its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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