Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
