A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
