My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
