why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
