That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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