i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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