turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
