Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Houston, we have a squirter
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Nothing says I love you as your fiancรฉ bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip ๐๐๐
Your skills amaze me
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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