soooo we both peed the bed last night...
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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