I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
