I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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