i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
