You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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