I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
