There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
