she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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