we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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